your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize