so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
