We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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