I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
