I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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