Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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