Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
