My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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