the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
