After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
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