yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
