did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
