Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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