hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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