Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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