the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
