I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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