I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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