I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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