i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
