That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
