Your tits are I can't wait for
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
