had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
