i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
