So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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