Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
