just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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