yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I love you.
Bad choice
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
