They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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