i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
