He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
