She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is wine microwaveable?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
