Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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