It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
