Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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