Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
