What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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