That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please come you make the beer taste better
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
