we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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