We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
