At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Acid is not a monday night drug
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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