he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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