i already hear my dad disowning me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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