when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
