Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
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alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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