He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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