I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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