If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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