how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize