they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
