You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
two words: eviction party
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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