I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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