Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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