My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
