just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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