Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
