she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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