wanna go halves on a baby?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
