I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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