No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
