hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Help. Why am I so naked?
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