I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
