Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
