we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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