brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
